Young Brides To Be...

So, being a 20 year old bride to be has it's pros and cons. It amazes me how judgemental people can be when you tell them that you are engaged.

You're too young! Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure he is the one for you? You're rushing in to this! Blah blah blah!

It also amazes me that most of the people to judge are the ones who married young themselves! The older generation seem to forget that they themselves were once my age, and they also felt the things that I am feeling now! They are also the cynical ones, the ones who themselves rushed head first in to the massive commitment that is marriage.

You see, my family is no stranger to marriage, and young brides.

My grandmother married at 17, pregnant with her second child. Her daughter, my mother, married her teenage sweetheart at 18, and gave birth to me twelve months later.

My grandmother and granddad are still married all these years later. They have had their ups and downs, but they would be so lost without each other.

Sadly, my parents decided to divorce. Growing up changed them too much for their relationship to work for much longer. My father has since remarried and he would be devastated if anything happened to his wife. My mother has remarried, and is now on husband number four, and finally happy, with a man who loves her just as she is.

Through these examples, we can see the pros and the cons. For my grandparents, it worked! They stuck it out, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, and they will never part. They have a bond that no trial could ever sever, and they have had their share of trials and tribulations! They also have a friend that never judges, sees both the good and the bad, and still love each other regardless.

Through my mother's marriage to my father, you can understand the cons of young marriage. Growing up changed them both, and that led to a unhappy ending leading to divorce. Unfortunately though, this kind of thing does happen.

Couples can be together for decades, and divorce. They can realise that they didn't marry the person they thought they did.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't agree with rushing in to a commitment like marriage. I believe that you should get to know the person entirely. By planning a future wedding, and cohabiting I have been able to see Sam at both his best, and his worst. This has meant that I now know his pros and cons too, and he knows mine. Marriage will not be that much of a shock to the system after I have already seen him pick his feet and leave his socks on the lounge floor!

I believe that people need to be less judgemental, and accept that yes, sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes the love dies, but sometimes, it does work. Sometimes a couple can marry young and be happy together for the rest of their lives. Marrying young does not mean that I have not considered the pitfalls and drawbacks. Planning a future wedding has allowed me to see every side of my man, and him me. It has allowed me to be sure of what I want, and how I want to do it.

It does not matter what age you marry, as long as you are happy, and you believe in your relationship!